Go to Urbanconservative.com. Have you seen a blog war? This is your chance. Don’t pass it up.

“She lives by a code of ethics. Brutus, Bubbles, whoever the hell you are...where are you? Listen...she says she lives by a code of ethics. Who wrote the code? Do you have to be a cryptologist to break the code? What does it say? “Be kind to all good men?” Well, dammit, I am kind to good men. There just aren’t many here. You’re supposed to be nasty to bad men. And women...after all, they are capable of some of the worst atrocities known to mankind. Faking orgasms. Going on insane rampages every 28 days. Putting yellow mustard on Pastrami sandwiches. Taking the skin off chocolate pudding. Having parents. Making socks disappear. Believing that reality shows are real.”

“Now that I think about it, women are the cause of all the world’s problems. They should be exterminated. All of them. Then we can finally relax with a beer and a baseball game and curse to our hearts content. We’d be so happy we wouldn’t even need to fight wars.”

“Mr. Bubbles, how do you feel about this? I value your opinion. You and Dora are the only two people here with brains. Check this out. I once stole Dora’s silverware. This was back when she disliked me because I’m a jerk. I returned all her silverware. She invited me to lunch. No...she said “Let’s do lunch.” There’s a difference. So naturally I fell in love with her. I talk about it all the time. She ignores me completely. I think she has a husband that bends steel with his breath.”

“Ah, the heck with it. Nobody cares.”